he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were trust falling into bushes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize