Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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