I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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