WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
