I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize