So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize