I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
