Me too!
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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