Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
