a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
