I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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