Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
