it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
