I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize