Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
