Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
