But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Naked Twister starts at high noon
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
