come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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