I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
