I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
