You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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