the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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