so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
