I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
