but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
