one might say we're banned from that church
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
