You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
