tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
