He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
