he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
