normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
