Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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