I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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