my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
