Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
