i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
