he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
