Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
