i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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