Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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