ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
