cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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