Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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