ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
