I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
