Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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