Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
