I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
