They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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