YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
