she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
