It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
