my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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