My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
