I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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